she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
