It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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