D3 body, D1 cock
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
