It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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