Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
