I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
