Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
