i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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