What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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