Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize