so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
