I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
