Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....

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  (970): just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address.... http://tfl.nu/ivpp
  Replies (28) Good night (6122) Bad night (1889) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top

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  (405): New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top http://tfl.nu/zi79
  Replies (257) Good night (8205) Bad night (2225) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?

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  (817): would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping? http://tfl.nu/hbh2
  Replies (5) Good night (3727) Bad night (786) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.

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  (541): I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on. http://tfl.nu/viag
  Replies (11) Good night (3998) Bad night (735) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?

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  (570): why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge? http://tfl.nu/lm3z
  Replies (8) Good night (827) Bad night (2334) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place

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  (585): i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place http://tfl.nu/423p
  Replies (4) Good night (727) Bad night (995) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.

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  (305): So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor. http://tfl.nu/ur1k
  Replies (6) Good night (2030) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.

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  (209): I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting. http://tfl.nu/cws8
  Replies (23) Good night (706) Bad night (2986) Order T-Shirt
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.

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  (575): I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable. http://tfl.nu/vijz
  Replies (3) Good night (1297) Bad night (825)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.

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  (850): If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through. http://tfl.nu/odn6
  Replies (7) Good night (977) Bad night (490) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?

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  (505): I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet? http://tfl.nu/aavq
  Replies (9) Good night (1751) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.

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  (515): At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers. http://tfl.nu/s4no
  Replies (7) Good night (1180) Bad night (590)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I was told my cock was a religious experience.

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  (913): I was told my cock was a religious experience. http://tfl.nu/13mw
  Replies (6) Good night (1807) Bad night (430) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public

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  (843): i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public http://tfl.nu/vwkw
  Replies (1) Good night (557) Bad night (236) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you

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  (616): Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you http://tfl.nu/p2n8
  Replies (1) Good night (287) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt

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