You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Randomize