You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
