he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
