Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
