another moral hangover. fuck.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
