I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
