Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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