I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The struggles of a small town man whore
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"