So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed