Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
I hate when you're right.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.