It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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