dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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