love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
