do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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