Screwed.edu
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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