Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize