1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
