i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
50% drunk capacity currently
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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