You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Tell her she can't have a vagina
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
