wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just had sex bonerless
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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