A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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