My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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