i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
