Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
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I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
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I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
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