is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I feel like abortions should bother me more
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I yelled at your uterus for you.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
