Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
