Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
