Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
