What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
