BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
