Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
