is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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