So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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