things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
