she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
