mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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