We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
