Can i not drive my cunt home
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
