Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
