The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
