Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
