We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize