i need an iv and a liver transplant
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Can I color on your dick again?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
