He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Screwed.edu
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
