It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
