You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
