My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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