you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
