I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
