Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
