You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
